My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
