You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
