I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
