I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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