You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
