hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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