I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
