Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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