Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize