Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Is it penis luge time yet?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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