Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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