guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
