Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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