U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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