with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
