I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
