do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw a hot homeless man
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
