Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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