Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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