is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
