I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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