honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
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you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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