There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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