I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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