I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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