I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
