I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
