What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
