I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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