Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Pooping to opera.
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