If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
