he thought i was a dude.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize