We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
