my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
