I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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