i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
