Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
