I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
