i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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