Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
