I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
