I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
