Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
