I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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