The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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