She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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