That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
