It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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