Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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