it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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