He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
