just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
