Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize