we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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