Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
