Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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