Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How's work?
Spinning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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