i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize