Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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