Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Say something about gay babies.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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