Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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