Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
